Chasing Pavements
Here's another Adele song that is extremely personal. The constant question
What I have realised about myself is that I enjoy writing, when it is not a task. When I don't have to do it to earn money. If I have to write and write all day for someone else, it helps me survive but it becomes work. It becomes a dead end. I avoid it and I reach points of tiredness and I give up.
I prefer writing when I'm sad, and yes, I'm sad most days, but it helps me think. Being sad brings to life all the thoughts I have running around in my head. It allows me to channelise my emotion and not write to earn money, but write because I enjoy it.
So, does that mean I'm going nowhere? Or does that mean I want to do something for myself?
Which is why I do not like the idea of money at all, it is a concept that traps you. Like a maze, pointing you in the wrong directions all the time. Not that I wish to be sad, I only mean then I wouldn't be obliged to write and make money, which stops me from writing these days.
But is money and survival the pavement or is it the reason to write? Is it happiness? What is the pavement that you chase? What is the pavement that I chase? And how does someone balance the two?
Eventually, in the maze of chasing the wrong pavement, it often leads you to want to give up. And that is when I become sad and I manage to find the pavement I wanted to chase. It doesn't matter if people read this or not. It doesn't matter if I am sad or not, it only matters that I want to and I continue to write. Not as a task or to earn money.
See, I told you, its a maze that comes back to the same spot over and over.
Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere.
What I have realised about myself is that I enjoy writing, when it is not a task. When I don't have to do it to earn money. If I have to write and write all day for someone else, it helps me survive but it becomes work. It becomes a dead end. I avoid it and I reach points of tiredness and I give up.
I prefer writing when I'm sad, and yes, I'm sad most days, but it helps me think. Being sad brings to life all the thoughts I have running around in my head. It allows me to channelise my emotion and not write to earn money, but write because I enjoy it.
So, does that mean I'm going nowhere? Or does that mean I want to do something for myself?
Which is why I do not like the idea of money at all, it is a concept that traps you. Like a maze, pointing you in the wrong directions all the time. Not that I wish to be sad, I only mean then I wouldn't be obliged to write and make money, which stops me from writing these days.
But is money and survival the pavement or is it the reason to write? Is it happiness? What is the pavement that you chase? What is the pavement that I chase? And how does someone balance the two?
Eventually, in the maze of chasing the wrong pavement, it often leads you to want to give up. And that is when I become sad and I manage to find the pavement I wanted to chase. It doesn't matter if people read this or not. It doesn't matter if I am sad or not, it only matters that I want to and I continue to write. Not as a task or to earn money.
See, I told you, its a maze that comes back to the same spot over and over.
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