New Ideals.
Part Two of Popular. Highly confessional
After a certain point in life, you realise you need someone to look up to and perhaps it cannot be the person you had been idealising so far, maybe because you've come to love them and know about them so much that you start finding faults in them. You start seeing them for a different person than your imagination - your expectations are broken.
This is a good thing - it does impose difficulty on any person with shattering ideals and thus most vulnerable to a moral break down or entire change of life. Which if you come to think about, is a good thing. I've always stood by the statement that "change is the only constant" and if a sudden jolt helps you achieve it, its worth the pain. The pain in itself is also good, because then you become stronger - learn to expect less and find your ideals in something more real and solid than an uncontrolled imagination - perhaps someone stronger.
Why I talk about this in the current moment? I'm reconsidering my ideals. I've long forgotten Kareena Kapoor to be amazing (I still love her, and still like her as an actress and would still support her in any argument). I'm reconsidering how original some of my other ideals such as Hilary Duff are - and how much they affect my life. In my head I've achieved an aspect of Christina Aguilera's vocals (and I see mine headed differently) while also having seen a different side of hers, that I do not apply to myself. And in the current state of self I don't relate to a lot of my previous ideals.
Which is why I've realised I need someone more hard working, more of a challenge than childhood fantasies. Someone almost extreme. Someone to inspire me. Someone I'd want to become like.
I need someone who has stood against the test of time and insane people - who has been called ugly and still managed to do be good at what she/he do. I need someone whose voice inspires me to achieve so much more (Christina Aguilera still holds there) and whose writing makes me want to write, makes me feel like I can achieve something too.
I need someone who reassures and someone who helps me get to the next level. Ideally, I'd like my voice to start going towards a combination of Cher and Mariah Carey (and it has started gaining range - growing, slowly). But I've heard Mariah Carey and I've attempted to sound and sing like her, but she's crazy - crazy good. And more than reassure she makes me doubt and feel bad about my ability. But its a challenge I'm willing to take up. To be able to hit each note (for the right amount of time) of a few Mariah Carey songs. But meanwhile I need something more earthen, more solid t idealise - and I can sing like Cher (in a way).
I need to be inspired to write and read again. Inspired and helped and believed in. I need a more realistic ideal. More solid. And my mind wanders to a certain Ms. Spears, and not for her vocal ability, but her ability to withstand and hit right back. But its all just confusing right now.
Maybe Lindsay Lohan. I'm not on drugs though.
I'll give it time, and figure out a new person to obsess over. A certain Carrie Bradshaw might be inspiring me to write by the way. Could it be? Could I next be idealising Sarah Jessica Parker playing Carrie Bradshaw - I know I wrote the last few lines with her voice in my head.
After a certain point in life, you realise you need someone to look up to and perhaps it cannot be the person you had been idealising so far, maybe because you've come to love them and know about them so much that you start finding faults in them. You start seeing them for a different person than your imagination - your expectations are broken.
This is a good thing - it does impose difficulty on any person with shattering ideals and thus most vulnerable to a moral break down or entire change of life. Which if you come to think about, is a good thing. I've always stood by the statement that "change is the only constant" and if a sudden jolt helps you achieve it, its worth the pain. The pain in itself is also good, because then you become stronger - learn to expect less and find your ideals in something more real and solid than an uncontrolled imagination - perhaps someone stronger.
Why I talk about this in the current moment? I'm reconsidering my ideals. I've long forgotten Kareena Kapoor to be amazing (I still love her, and still like her as an actress and would still support her in any argument). I'm reconsidering how original some of my other ideals such as Hilary Duff are - and how much they affect my life. In my head I've achieved an aspect of Christina Aguilera's vocals (and I see mine headed differently) while also having seen a different side of hers, that I do not apply to myself. And in the current state of self I don't relate to a lot of my previous ideals.
Which is why I've realised I need someone more hard working, more of a challenge than childhood fantasies. Someone almost extreme. Someone to inspire me. Someone I'd want to become like.
I need someone who has stood against the test of time and insane people - who has been called ugly and still managed to do be good at what she/he do. I need someone whose voice inspires me to achieve so much more (Christina Aguilera still holds there) and whose writing makes me want to write, makes me feel like I can achieve something too.
I need someone who reassures and someone who helps me get to the next level. Ideally, I'd like my voice to start going towards a combination of Cher and Mariah Carey (and it has started gaining range - growing, slowly). But I've heard Mariah Carey and I've attempted to sound and sing like her, but she's crazy - crazy good. And more than reassure she makes me doubt and feel bad about my ability. But its a challenge I'm willing to take up. To be able to hit each note (for the right amount of time) of a few Mariah Carey songs. But meanwhile I need something more earthen, more solid t idealise - and I can sing like Cher (in a way).
I need to be inspired to write and read again. Inspired and helped and believed in. I need a more realistic ideal. More solid. And my mind wanders to a certain Ms. Spears, and not for her vocal ability, but her ability to withstand and hit right back. But its all just confusing right now.
Maybe Lindsay Lohan. I'm not on drugs though.
I'll give it time, and figure out a new person to obsess over. A certain Carrie Bradshaw might be inspiring me to write by the way. Could it be? Could I next be idealising Sarah Jessica Parker playing Carrie Bradshaw - I know I wrote the last few lines with her voice in my head.
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