Done being a sponge

I'm honestly done with people's bullshit. If you have an issue - particularly with someone else, deal with them. I hate it when I become the battleground for your agendas and issues.

***

She was discussing something with him, obviously, it did not end very well. Then she started discussing something else with me, and she said something which sounded absurd, so I responded saying there's no need to believe every fake news or forward. She snapped at me. Not because I  did not know what she was discussing or where she got her source, rather because, she was still annoyed about her discussion with him. There was no need to snap at me and make me feel guilty - I was expected to believe something she said without context and it sounded like fake news to me, so I said it. Why was it such a blasphemous attack? I wasn't judging her, just saying what I thought. 

Then do not tell me these things, if you do not expect a reaction from me.

***

Someone else messaged me and randomly passed snarky comments and judgements. I called it out - because not only was this person misinformed, he was unwilling to have a reasonable discussion about it. Perhaps he could have been right, but he started getting even more random and judgemental. So again I told him to bugger off. There are usually two sides to a story, listen to both before you jump to conclusions. Conclusions about me!

If you are not willing to listen to what I have to say, do not start a conversation with me - with an intent to judge me and make me feel as if I do not know what I am talking about.

***

A long time ago, a group of us sat at a table in a bar. One of the people started flirting with me, then another one did the same and it seemed odd. I stepped out for a little bit and an acquaintance came to me and asked me not to leave my friend with the rest of the group at the bar, cause they may have malicious intents. I come back to the table and notice that my friend was snogging one of the people that had flirted with me - after which my friend confessed that the two of them had been going out for a few months not. 

It so happened, that this particular person was the same person who was flirting with me minutes ago. I shrugged it off at that time and went away. Later, I realised that both these people flirting with me, were, in fact, interested in my friend and that I was only the sidekick to their mind-games. It's baffling why I needed to be in that situation when neither of these flirters was interested in me but were only playing a charade to draw the attention of my friend and used me as some sort of pawn to push around.

If you have an intent with someone else, deal with them yourself. Do not involve me if I do not need to be involved.

***

Yes, it is annoying to be a sponge or a wallflower; particularly when random people treat you like a pushover as if you have no particular opinion or that you are half a person. Deal with your own problems because I honestly do not need your problems.

I am fully aware that this resolution may change with each situation, but that does not mean I will not keep trying to ward off al the bullshit and emotional baggage that does not have to come towards me. 

I am going to try not to blame myself any further, or beat myself up about issues other people have with themselves, or with other people. Of course, I may not succeed. But I will not be asked to shut up or made to feel bad or guilty in some way.

Deal with your problem and be your own sponge.